Albiku
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@Albiku
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Post by Albiku on Oct 2, 2012 19:05:53 GMT -5
Adam would have made a good social worker - he has strong empathy and isn't afraid to show vunerability (which is a very different thing than being vunerable). Building on the conversation this may be a somewhat unpopular opinion so please feel free to scroll. There is a big difference between genuine bullying and "that person was mean to me or doesn't like me." When I was in school I was often "picked on" as we called it then, by the cool kids, the big kids, the whoever kids. I spent lots of time on my own, but I also had some friends on the fringes. My family was not necessarily "there for me" either - they did let me know it was ok to be who I was, but in general I had to solve things for myself. I am a more resilient and self-reliant adult because of those experiences. I don't deny that there is genuine bullying today and that social media etc has amplified the problem. I do believe that some people cry bullying. When you grow up being told you are the bestest thing since for ever and given every little thing your heart desires it is hard to deal with "that person was mean to me"... Carry On. I'm sure there are people who cry bullying. But it's best to cry bullying and put the problem out there than to dismiss it and hide the real stuff. When I was in high school, the term bullying didn't exist in Spain. Yet, I really was bullied. In my case, I was threatened with a penknife (in front of a teacher who didn't do a damned thing, if I may say so), pushed around, almost throttled, called names, followed home... I got death threats (to the point that the police gave me their direct cell phone number for emergencies), my mother was called names, they came to my house armed with sticks and started ringing the doorbells of all the neighbors... One of them screamed to me at the top of her lungs in the middle of class: "HOW DOES YOUR MOTHER SCREAM WHEN YOUR FATHER FUCKS HER, MOTHERFUCKER?!" The whole high school was terrified by them. They focused on me because I didn't bow to them. I pushed back, I refused to let them win. Maybe that wasn't the smartest thing to do, but I was so fed up with the situation that I didn't even care anymore if it made things better or worse. So if we have to have some fake bullying situations to actually rise awareness of the real problem, bring it on.  And yes, Adam would have made a great social worker. Or psychologist. ILHSFM. |
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Post by maddie509 on Oct 2, 2012 19:08:23 GMT -5
Unfortunately, this isn't something that can be forced. Most artists who hit big do so due to pure dumb luck. Right place at the right time, and all that. And honestly, the harder you push, the harder radio will dig its feet into the dirt. It is frustrating, but it's just the way things are.
:Clap: :Clap: :Clap: :Clap:
Couldn't have said it better myself! |
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Albiku
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@Albiku
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Post by Albiku on Oct 2, 2012 19:08:53 GMT -5
There are situations and situations, of course. I've faced bullies as an adult, and my feelings, reactions and thoughts have been completely different from those I had when I was bullied in high school. It can be very damaging too (in a situation like the one you described, for example), but I really think, having faced both situations, that it's not the same. I can be wrong, of course. This is just my opinion based on what I know from personal experience and the experiences of those I know.  When you can see it from the inside the mechanisms are just the same. Even methods bullyiers are using are the same. Believe me there is no difference at all. Of course when you are grown up, you often know better how to deal with that kind of situation, but unfortunately not everyone can. I'm not saying that your personal experience is wrong (mine is exactly the same), what I want to say is that you can't generalize this kind of thing It wasn't my intention to say everyone's the same when it comes to this. I'm sorry if it came out that way, I know that's not true. |
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junkets
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Post by junkets on Oct 2, 2012 19:09:31 GMT -5
From what I have seen and heard of Adam talking about his adolescence, he was not bullied outright. Of course, he was not "out" in high school, and he was a rather big guy, so not an easy target. However, my impression was that he was not part of the "in crowd." He wasn't one of the popular kids. In most high schools, the guy who sings in musicals and the school choir really isn't cool. In the seventh grade he didn't have anyone to sit with at lunch. Internally, Adam felt awkward and different; lonely and depressed (his words from interviews). He talked about putting on a persona so he would be accepted. So, Adam wasn't bullied because he was starting to develop that immense social intelligence that he has; learning how to get along, how to ingratiate himself to others, and learning to balance being himself with being accepted by others. Those are all skills that not only served him then, but serve him now as well. But I imagine as a closeted teenager, putting on this persona while he was struggling to figure himself out underneath was very difficult. TBH, middle and high school were nightmare times for many folks; especially those who didn't fit the mold. I would bet that if we took a poll of AToppers, a significant percentage would say they had a hard time in middle and high school; because we are talking about a group of people who are mainly female and smart (a deadly combination in high school), who are independent and free thinkers, who have, over their lives, broken out of a lot of boxes. ... All this to say, I think many of us relate to kids who are outsiders and kids who are bullied. .. Cassie, this is so beautifully written. It might seem presumptuous to others who haven't followed him to assume so much of his experience in high school that he hadn't really revealed, but a lot of this can be inferred. They are also nearly universal experiences. Of being wanted but not wanting to lose sense of self to seek approval. Sorry I needed to snip so many of your wonderful words, but I've reached the word limit on my phone, per usual. I would just add that it is AL's disposition that makes him that odd creature of an optimist (like our beloved Aleksandra!). I need to surround myself with many of them to balance myself out (like my husband, who is optimistic almost to a fault ("oh, that tornado's going north; we don't need to go in the basement"--meanwhile the sirens are blaring and the newscasters are all saying "go to your safe zone NOW! Or "oh that medical test result was a fluke.") There has been a lot of talk why a lot of older women seem to be inspired by Adam. I think a lot of it is that we have been around the block and have learned the lesson of staying strong through the inevitable crap that happens in midlife, but also because a lot of us have raised or are raising (or teaching or otherwise involved in lives of) adolescent kids and reliving those struggles again. ETA: Fixed, kind of.  |
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Post by thelambertluvva on Oct 2, 2012 19:19:25 GMT -5
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Post by maddie509 on Oct 2, 2012 19:43:45 GMT -5
Well, Trespassing is a hit with me, and with many others around the world already. It would be nice for Adam if it gets good play on radio, and I hope it does, and I'll vote and help all I can, but the radio doesn't dictate to me how to define success. Adam is making music and influencing the world around him positively and living with integrity. He has loyal fans who adore him- his music, his message and his example. Adam called that girl, and their conversation touched me. He touched me singing the duet. I love who he tries to be with others almost as much as I love his music and talent! I really appreciate your definition of success and completely agree with it. Numbers, even with all their mathematical certainty, are fickle and deceptive. They are important to Adam, to us, but they are a side dish. Fortunately, Adam serves us the main course very often.
I'm absolutely loving some of today's convos! Bravo! ladies & gents!
Speaking as a "numbers & facts" geek (80% of my posts are all in the numbers thread), that's just how I like to discuss things but they're just numbers, good or bad they don't melt my heart or reduce me to a puddle of mush, or make me get up at 4am to watch a performance from half way around the globe on my Mac, or vote my little fingers off on some silly polls...the list goes on. I think for me and probably most of us here, it's not just the voice, the looks, and the music, above all, it's the person that Adam is that we love, admire, resonate with and are inspired by!
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Post by smokeyvera on Oct 2, 2012 19:56:46 GMT -5
What??????
1h lovesummer22 þ@lovesummer22
@byroncooke Can you confirm if Trespassing has been serviced to radio here in Oz. Want to know when to start requesting!
@byroncooke
@lovesummer22 just checked with label & they are waiting on what the next video will be - so no Aus single comfirmed yet @adamlambert
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Holst
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Post by Holst on Oct 2, 2012 20:03:02 GMT -5
Agreed about interesting discussions today. I was also fascinated by yesterday's (?) topic of who Adam considers as friends. He must define "friend" as someone that you'd go to a movie with, hang out with, have over for dinner, or generally socialize with. That is how I define it. It's so interesting that many here have different views of "friends."
BTW didn't Adam once say that he and Katy Perry are not great friends? More like they share common friends. I can't remember the interview, or maybe I just MADE THAT UP!!! :twist:
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Post by smokeyvera on Oct 2, 2012 20:13:25 GMT -5
Rebecca Rosén þ@Rebecca12349
OMG! They just played the intro to "Chokehold" by @adamlambert on #XFactorSE :D I love that song!
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Post by mszue on Oct 2, 2012 20:18:54 GMT -5
From what I have seen and heard of Adam talking about his adolescence, he was not bullied outright. Of course, he was not "out" in high school, and he was a rather big guy, so not an easy target. However, my impression was that he was not part of the "in crowd." He wasn't one of the popular kids. In most high schools, the guy who sings in musicals and the school choir really isn't cool. In the seventh grade he didn't have anyone to sit with at lunch. Internally, Adam felt awkward and different; lonely and depressed (his words from interviews). He talked about putting on a persona so he would be accepted. So, Adam wasn't bullied because he was starting to develop that immense social intelligence that he has; learning how to get along, how to ingratiate himself to others, and learning to balance being himself with being accepted by others. Those are all skills that not only served him then, but serve him now as well. But I imagine as a closeted teenager, putting on this persona while he was struggling to figure himself out underneath was very difficult. TBH, middle and high school were nightmare times for many folks; especially those who didn't fit the mold. I would bet that if we took a poll of AToppers, a significant percentage would say they had a hard time in middle and high school; because we are talking about a group of people who are mainly female and smart (a deadly combination in high school), who are independent and free thinkers, who have, over their lives, broken out of a lot of boxes. ... All this to say, I think many of us relate to kids who are outsiders and kids who are bullied. .. Cassie, this is so beautifully written. It might seem presumptuous to others who haven't followed him to assume so much of his experience in high school that he hadn't really revealed, but a lot of this can be inferred. They are also nearly universal experiences. Of being wanted but not wanting to lose sense of self to seek approval. Sorry I needed to snip so many of your wonderful words, but I've reached the word limit on my phone, per usual. I would just add that it is AL's disposition that makes him that odd creature of an optimist (like our beloved Aleksandra!). I need to surround myself with many of them to balance myself out (like my husband, who is optimistic almost to a fault ("oh, that tornado's going north; we don't need to go in the basement"--meanwhile the sirens are blaring and the newscasters are all saying "go to your safe zone NOW! Or "oh that medical test result was a fluke.") There has been a lot of talk why a lot of older women seem to be inspired by Adam. I think a lot of it is that we have been around the block and have learned the lesson of staying strong through the inevitable crap that happens in midlife, but also because a lot of us have raised or are raising (or teaching or otherwise involved in lives of) adolescent kids and reliving those struggles again. ETA: Fixed, kind of. I wonder if sometimes we don't take the adult Adam at current 'face' value, even knowing that he never shows when he is afraid or insecure, even though he admits to it after the fact...sometimes. He has admitted that when he first realized he was wired differently [his term] he was horrified [also his term] and did not speak openly of his sexuality until the end of high school, when he was 18. Those had to be very difficult years and it is hard to believe that his male classmates did not aggressively give him a bad time, albeit he was a big boy. Bullying is not about size so much as numbers..... One of the few things in life I greatly regret is that I did not fully understand and support my oldest daughter when she was being bullied. It was not spoken of or understood to the same extent it is today... I guess I thought she was being overly dramatic... and she did not tell me that much about it until some years later. She was chased and attacked and surrounded herself with friends...especially boys...as protection. I feel so badly that I let her down those years, though she has never hinted at that, she has to feel it.... Anyways....while I agree it is likely Adam was not overtly bullied, I don't think we can assume he was not just because he has not told us that. He is very reluctant to appear anything but in control! |
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