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Post by gelly14 on Dec 6, 2011 18:00:47 GMT -5
I don't know if this is the right place to announce these kind of things, but just... Sorry that I have been MIA in here, all though I'm pretty newbie. There has been some things in my life what makes me tired and just angry and I thought that it would be better if I would be MIA for a while. There has been some traumatic things in my life lately and it kinda effects me still.. Yeah, sorry if you can't get anything out of this or I'm just ranting something what is not making any sense. And sorry if this is not the right place to info about this.... - KeepinUpWithSuz keepinupwithsuz This is the right place to talk about it. And have a big hug and always know that Adamtopia CAN be an escape. People here helped me countless times with my problems in RL. :D Just hang on in there.
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Post by midwifespal on Dec 6, 2011 22:39:19 GMT -5
Mszue, I'm so so sorry. How grim and sad. I hope you get lots of real as well as our virtual hugs to help you through this difficult time, and that things go as easily for your sister as they possibly can. Hang in there, and let us know if we can do anything--a word of encouragement or two or an escape. Look after yourself, too, yes? Grab smiles where you can get them this holiday season. We're thinking of you.
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Post by mszue on Dec 7, 2011 2:11:00 GMT -5
Thanks midwifespal, juniemoon, durberville, gelly14 and prism....and everyone here on atop....it is nice to have a place to flail and laugh when that is what you need and whine and whimper when that is what you need.... It is an odd sort of limbo we are in. I am feeling really guilty and conflicted too as I have complex, longstanding and non-refundable plans in place to be in the states for the holidays. She has her own plans but I feel like I should be dropping everything and landing on her doorstep ...whether she wanted me there or not...:-} Relative to that....do we know of any atopians close to Flippin, Arkansas?? seriously...that is the name. My friend always refers to it as F***k'n Flippin AR.... cheers
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Post by keepinupwithsuz on Dec 7, 2011 4:22:58 GMT -5
Thank you gelly14 I already tweeted this, but.... My moms breast cancer came back, it's now on her other breast. I don't know if I can live this nightmare again. But then again I don't have any choice, I'm all she has. It just breaks my heart to watch her suffer. And I don't want to lose her. This is just like karma checking me out and wishing me and my mom a merry Christmas :(
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Post by gelly14 on Dec 7, 2011 4:50:03 GMT -5
Thank you gelly14 I already tweeted this, but.... My moms breast cancer came back, it's now on her other breast. I don't know if I can live this nightmare again. But then again I don't have any choice, I'm all she has. It just breaks my heart to watch her suffer. And I don't want to lose her. This is just like karma checking me out and wishing me and my mom a merry Christmas :( Ohh baby I KNOW what you mean.... I've been there...... Please try to stay strong and remember there is ALWAYS hope! ALWAYS!!! I know that it's a lot to handle but you are a good daughter and life is..... THIS IS LIFE you know? I'm not good with words especially when I'm trying to say something in English, but don't say it's karma, it's just life. Christmas and Easter and Christmas and Easter again, my worst nightmares became true during Christmas Eve and Easter, bad bad bad coincidence I say. We don't really know how much strength we have, until a situation like this comes in front of our eyes. I'm telling you this because I suffered for years with even more worse situations. I always said , I'm not gonna handle it any more, but I DID! Smile a lot to your mom, stay positive , this is the best you can do for her and for you. And even if it's just for a couple of minutes COME HERE! Atop has helped me SO MUCH and still helping every day, I will always be grateful for all the people here.
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Post by keepinupwithsuz on Dec 7, 2011 5:59:39 GMT -5
Thank you gelly14 I already tweeted this, but.... My moms breast cancer came back, it's now on her other breast. I don't know if I can live this nightmare again. But then again I don't have any choice, I'm all she has. It just breaks my heart to watch her suffer. And I don't want to lose her. This is just like karma checking me out and wishing me and my mom a merry Christmas :( Ohh baby I KNOW what you mean.... I've been there...... Please try to stay strong and remember there is ALWAYS hope! ALWAYS!!! I know that it's a lot to handle but you are a good daughter and life is..... THIS IS LIFE you know? I'm not good with words especially when I'm trying to say something in English, but don't say it's karma, it's just life. Christmas and Easter and Christmas and Easter again, my worst nightmares became true during Christmas Eve and Easter, bad bad bad coincidence I say. We don't really know how much strength we have, until a situation like this comes in front of our eyes. I'm telling you this because I suffered for years with even more worse situations. I always said , I'm not gonna handle it any more, but I DID! Smile a lot to your mom, stay positive , this is the best you can do for her and for you. And even if it's just for a couple of minutes COME HERE! Atop has helped me SO MUCH and still helping every day, I will always be grateful for all the people here. Thank you again. <3 I'm glad that I have a place where to come when things goes too hard to handle.. Last time I hadn't and I ended up doing things to myself to escape all the pain I felt and saw. With those scars in my skin i don't feel like being such a good daughter etc. I should have been stronger. Thank you for understanding and I will come here when ever I can. I'm glad that I have iPhone with me so I can check Internet when ever I want.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 7, 2011 10:25:03 GMT -5
Thank you gelly14 I already tweeted this, but.... My moms breast cancer came back, it's now on her other breast. I don't know if I can live this nightmare again. But then again I don't have any choice, I'm all she has. It just breaks my heart to watch her suffer. And I don't want to lose her. This is just like karma checking me out and wishing me and my mom a merry Christmas :( Suz. I am so sorry about your mom. I know exactly what you are talking about when you say "nightmare." I lived a nightmare with my mom for five years with Parkinson's. My mom was my best friend and it was truly horrible, no putting a good face on it. Now that she is gone (died Feb 2009) there is one thing that I feel OK about it. I feel OK that I stood by my mom and tried to make sure she got what she wanted. I didn't always succeed, but I never wimped out. And I didn't wimp out on helping my dad during and afterwards either, even though he didn't make it easy. (grumpy old man!) What is hard is that the experience permanently changes you. It's like Senator Moynihan said after JFK was shot: "We'll laugh again. We'll just never be young again." That is hard but true. Adam came into my life with the AMAs, and oh how I have laughed again. I hope that you and your mom can fight the good fight together and that no matter what happens you can be proud knowing that you stepped up and did what needs to be done. Sometimes that's all you can do, and that is where you earn that karma (if I understand it correctly). Where would we be without this thing?
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Post by seoulmate on Dec 7, 2011 21:44:51 GMT -5
Thank you gelly14 I already tweeted this, but.... My moms breast cancer came back, it's now on her other breast. I don't know if I can live this nightmare again. But then again I don't have any choice, I'm all she has. It just breaks my heart to watch her suffer. And I don't want to lose her. This is just like karma checking me out and wishing me and my mom a merry Christmas :( awww, honey... I just saw your post and it breaks my heart. I can't say much more than gelly and juniemoon have already said... I just lost my own mom about 6 months ago, so I have so much sympathy for what you're facing right now. The difference is that, like gelly said, there is still hope left in your mom's situation. During my mom's last few days, and after she passed away, I had to come here every single day, even for a few minutes, just to be around familiar friends. We're thinking of you and sending best wishes, hugs, and healing thoughts...
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Post by seoulmate on Dec 7, 2011 21:51:07 GMT -5
and mzsue... I just saw the above post about your sister... Very sorry to hear the prognosis is not good for her. And to have not one, but two, siblings predecease you is pretty hard to take. Sending hugs, girl.
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Post by keepinupwithsuz on Dec 8, 2011 5:46:57 GMT -5
juniemoon & seoulmate, thank you so much ♥ I don't have any words right now... But I do appreciate for replying to me, it's good to know that I'm not the only one here with these kind of issues, although I wouldn't never want anyone to go through this, never. Me and my mom are hanging in here and just trying to live a day by day, see what the future brings to us. It's just odd to be in this situation again, living home and taking care of one who is fighting about her life. But guess this is just life...
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