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Post by DancyGeorgia on Nov 21, 2018 5:39:47 GMT -5
@madmax you make some very interesting points about biased standards, double standards, and normatives which could make for some very interesting and lively discussion. I am sensing that you come from a different background and perspective than many of the people on this board and I would be interested in knowing more about how this influences your opinions on this subject. However, you will find that some people on this board take perceived slights personally while others are interested in having a lively back and forth conversation about the pros and cons of debatable subjects. Heck, I find the same dynamic on my dance classes and it can be tricky to navigate. Thank you for your thoughtful comments. Like many here Adam has been a big influence on my way of thinking. I strive for seeing the bigger picture of why things are happening the way they are. The rise of gun violence and its connection to toxic masculinity is also a motivating factor behind speaking up when the opportunity presents itself, because I have experienced it in my life. I'm also gay and sincerely puzzled when homophobic remarks turn up in places you'd least expect, and no one calls it like it is. I may have only started posting but I've read this board a long time, and I'm not surprised by those who react negatively. Adam can't defend himself here but I can, so I'm not going to be shy about it anymore. If that is too much for the board to handle then I'll go back to being a ghost. @madmax please give some examples of "homophobic remarks turn up in places you'd least expect". Also, please keep in mind that some fans might make remarks that they do not realize are homophobic. In the US, we have had many years of "sensitivity" training on what is considered racially insensitive, and even then it can be confusing. For example, some African Americans do not like being called "black" and consider it a racial slur, while others don't mind at all being called "black". Most of us have had far less opportunity to become sensitive about what the LGBTQ community considers to be homophobic remarks. Please help educate us, but please do so in a kind way. Many of us are very open to learning.
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Post by DancyGeorgia on Nov 21, 2018 5:49:00 GMT -5
@saijathacker: @adamlambert The proof of high quality music is that it doesn't feel old or outdated after a while. #ForYourEntertainment is as good today as nine years ago, so thank you Adam for giving us amazing music we can listen to year in and year out❤ PS. I ordered a tee😁
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marionm
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Post by marionm on Nov 21, 2018 6:22:26 GMT -5
I've made my point about Adams private life. @madmax I'm just a little confused. Even apart from let's say his five closest friends. Adam posts about going out, sometimes meals, sometimes hiking, his dog. Adam HIMSELF posts private things. I would really like to understand what is so off limits that made you come out so strong? If we were sneaking pictures from private accounts, or even hacking his phone or cloud or such that would simply be criminal. We talk about things that are publicly available. Yes, i cringe a little when people talk about every detail of every room in his house but for several reasons i still think Adam is VERY in charge of what is out there of him.
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Post by AnnAdoresAdam on Nov 21, 2018 7:13:39 GMT -5
I see that Gracie Jane's name has gone dark and her post count to zero. I'm afraid she's closed her account here - probably after the tirade by the aptly-named Mad Max.
If you're out there, please come back Gracie Jane. And perhaps Mad Max could read the forum rules as I believe her post was in direct violation. Quite a feat for only 16 posts.
And for the record, I am equally as interested in Adam's private life as his music and feel no need to defend myself on that point. It's simply my choice.
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Post by melliemom on Nov 21, 2018 8:08:22 GMT -5
Madmax I think what you have to say is very important and very enlightening to me..I thank you for your honesty and for your courage..I agree with what you had to say
about judging Adam ,who he dates and making assumptions about his life. IMHO,It sometimes smacks of voyeuism.I can imagine a slight snicker and eye roll from a number
of fans..We are all entitled to our opinions and to the reaction to those opinions.. It's called free speech.Speak on
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marionm
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Post by marionm on Nov 21, 2018 8:12:21 GMT -5
@madmax thank you for your insight. I truly appreciate it. From my own experience i know that i have been linked to my best friend since the beginning of time because a girl and boy simply CAN'T just be friends.
I hope people don't come for me but yes, i would raise my eyebrows if a 36 old guy went for girls in their early teens.
Yes throwing in names of seriously predetory people is critical.
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Post by skaschep on Nov 21, 2018 9:03:13 GMT -5
I'm sad we lost a member on this board because of this.
I'm also sad that @madmax puts us all together with the crazy fans who bother everybody who had something to do with Adam all the time. Yes there are people doing that. They are sadly around for every artist who is out there, but I do believe that most people of this board have more common sense than that.
And I do believe that Adam does instruct his friends on what to post. He might not do that regularly but his close friends know what they can and can't post. Sometimes they also mess up, but sometimes I also think the mess up could be on purpose. It's often the occasional visitor who gives us the stuff that probably shouldn't be shared. Most of the time we don't see them again though. But here we almost only post stuff that is publicly available.
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Post by svca on Nov 21, 2018 9:03:19 GMT -5
Well, whatever valid point was made in the previous post, was lost in the heavy handed delivery IMO.
I think it's counter productive to keeping a fan board alive by chasing its members away...one by one.
Fan boards as a whole have always discussed their favorite celebrity in detail, and Adam is no exception. He and his friends make a lot of stuff public through social media, so why shouldn't we be able to discuss it. The boards have mods, and I'm sure they'll jump in should we cross the line in said discussions. They have in the past.
As for the reason behind the rant, I'm trying to recall posts from the previous thread that would cause it, and I can't recall any. I certainly don't remember any posts reprimanding Adam for Javi's age...did I miss something? As long as he's legal...lots of people enjoy partners that are younger or older than them. My husband is 12 years younger than I am, so I'm aware of the raised eyebrows lol.
I'm all for expressing opinions, we're all such different personalities...but maybe we could express ours without chastising others for expressing theirs.
Sorry for the rambling, haven't even had my coffee yet lol. Just opened the computer and felt like I had stepped into an alternate universe.
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ljsmack
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Post by ljsmack on Nov 21, 2018 9:04:56 GMT -5
Throwing my hat in the ring... I love it when someone challenges my previously unexamined biases by expressing alternate views. Just as I value madmax I also value graciejane and others on the board. As a straight female, I love to hear all views that shed some light on how Adam (and others in a community about which I know little) MIGHT feel in particular circumstances. Given current politics, I’m loathe to play a zero-sum game and MY preference is to listen to all. We’ve already lost pattihum and others. As I’ve heard many times, scrolling is your friend.—and though some of us have met one anther, I choose not to take any comment PERSONALLY. Just my opinion.
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Post by ctam2611 on Nov 21, 2018 9:08:23 GMT -5
@madmax please give some examples of "homophobic remarks turn up in places you'd least expect". Also, please keep in mind that some fans might make remarks that they do not realize are homophobic. In the US, we have had many years of "sensitivity" training on what is considered racially insensitive, and even then it can be confusing. For example, some African Americans do not like being called "black" and consider it a racial slur, while others don't mind at all being called "black". Most of us have had far less opportunity to become sensitive about what the LGBTQ community considers to be homophobic remarks. Please help educate us, but please do so in a kind way. Many of us are very open to learning. Thank you for your genuine concern. When discussing the motivation for one's choices about who they date, using terms like "tendencies" alongside terms like "barely legal" implies that they are lecherous and without moral compass. This is a stereotypical view of gay men: that they can't control themselves around "boys" (who are actually consenting adults framed as victims). This stereotype plays into the paranoia that gay men are dangerous around children. It is not the individual terms that are necessarily homophobic, but the combining of these terms to paint a picture. It doesn't matter if you mask it as maternal concern; the connections are still cognitively damaging. Then touch it up with references to Bryan Singer or Kevin Spacey as "proof" of the danger factor, and you have important ingredients for the kind of homophobia that can influence an unstable armed person to shoot up a gay club "for the sake of the children." To understand how you unconsciously support the stereotype, check your privilege. Are there places that are less safe for you to go because you are straight? Have you ever had to come out as straight so that others feel they can trust your honesty? Is it assumed that your life choices are because of your sexual orientation? Do people think you are the way you are because you are straight? When you are seen with a member of the same sex, is it assumed you are dating them, or want to date them? Should you be judged by what Harvey Weinstein and Donald HeWhoCannot amed do because all of you are straight and therefore must all have the same "tendencies"? Every day I find a new irrational bias I didn't know I had. I look at it and decide if I want to keep it or not. But even when I decide not to keep it, it can find its way back in through my blind spots. The vigil never ends. I agree with that fact everyone has the right to voice their opinions and thoughts as long as it’s done politely. The one thing I do take exception to is your saying ? Should you be judged by what Harvey Weinstein and Donald HeWhoCannot amed do because all of you are straight and therefore must all have the same "tendencies"? Because ALL of us are straight? You don’t know a thing about all of us. You don’t know who I am what my orientation is or how many gay family members I have. So please do not do to us what you are complaining about by assuming we all fit into a perception. You also don’t know what kind of hate or prejudice any of us has experienced. State your option but be mindful of others before you lump us all into your “perceptions” of who we are.
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