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Post by blackqueen65 on Nov 21, 2018 9:12:44 GMT -5
Well, whatever valid point was made in the previous post, was lost in the heavy handed delivery IMO. I think it's counter productive to keeping a fan board alive by chasing its members away...one by one. Fan boards as a whole have always discussed their favorite celebrity in detail, and Adam is no exception. He and his friends make a lot of stuff public through social media, so why shouldn't we be able to discuss it. The boards have mods, and I'm sure they'll jump in should we cross the line in said discussions. They have in the past. As for the reason behind the rant, I'm trying to recall posts from the previous thread that would cause it, and I can't recall any. I certainly don't remember any posts reprimanding Adam for Javi's age...did I miss something? As long as he's legal...lots of people enjoy partners that are younger or older than them. My husband is 12 years younger than I am, so I'm aware of the raised eyebrows lol. I'm all for expressing opinions, we're all such different personalities...but maybe we could express ours without chastising others for expressing theirs. Sorry for the rambling, haven't even had my coffee yet lol. Just opened the computer and felt like I had stepped into an alternate universe. I think the post was one mentioning Bryan Singer, I must admit that made me uncomfortable, I can see nothing remotely similar in Adam dating a young guy, if he is indeed dating him and what Bryan Singer was accused of and to put them in the same sentence IMO is totally wrong. I've zero interest in Adam's private life and although I follow him on Twitter and Instagram for updates on things he's doing professionally I just ignore his other posts and I don't follow any of his friends etc, I get some people find that stuff of interest and that's fair enough but mentioning the age of his potential dates or implying there's something wrong is a step too far for me.
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petrajo
Member
Posts: 683
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Post by petrajo on Nov 21, 2018 9:17:53 GMT -5
Just a quick note that I have NEVER seen a homophopic comment here. Never.
I come from a country where we don’t care what your sexual orientation is. We had an Openly gay man running for a president and he only lost by a little and that had nothing to do with the fact that he is gay. Both of my parents voted for him.
Today’s discussion is really upsetting.
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Post by nightowl on Nov 21, 2018 9:23:50 GMT -5
I've made my point about Adams private life. @madmax I'm just a little confused. Even apart from let's say his five closest friends. Adam posts about going out, sometimes meals, sometimes hiking, his dog. Adam HIMSELF posts private things. I would really like to understand what is so off limits that made you come out so strong?If we were sneaking pictures from private accounts, or even hacking his phone or cloud or such that would simply be criminal. We talk about things that are publicly available. Yes, i cringe a little when people talk about every detail of every room in his house but for several reasons i still think Adam is VERY in charge of what is out there of him.Thank you for your feedback. I'll try to be more clear. I feel strongly about fans following and commenting his friends, dates, family members, and even people more peripheral in his life like past band members and their peripherals. This rings excessive to me. Their social media is public too, but does that negate the excess? I don't consider Adam posting a picture of his dog as the "private life" I'm referring to. More like, following his dog's one-time sitter and continuing to engage them in sycophantic banter. How is Adam always "in charge" of what is made public about him? Was he in charge of his private Facebook posts distributed to various fan boards without his consent? Or his recycle bins being sifted through for personal items? How much boundary invasion is worth raising concerns about, if one wants to maintain professional and personal friendships without drama? I don't imagine Adam regularly gathering his friends to instruct them on what they can and cannot post on social media. I imagine he might find that crass. He's not an A-lister. Acting like one would be sort of arrogant, don't you think? Wow. Do you really believe, that it’s us, who did that? Yes, I look through Instagram. No, I NEVER engage there with any of Adam’s friends. And almost never with himself. I only like his posts or tell him, how much I loved a concert, that I attended. Which happens about twice a year, if I‘m lucky. If I see something interesting, I like to discuss it here. Nowhere else. yes, some fans are nuts. But it’s a difference, if we chat about, what’s going on in Adam’s life, on this fanboard among fans or on social media. And yes, I agree with you, that some posts about Adam and his friends age difference were not OK. But I said so immediately after said post. I have the feeling, you just put all of us in one box. You know nothing about my background or other members here. We are of all ages from all around the world. Some might have more insights into the LGBT community than you think. I met a lot of fans at concerts and some other members from this board. Especially at my last gig in Berlin we were a VERY colorful bunch of at least 50 glamberts around the barrier. And I can tell you: I know quite a few of them personally or from social media. None of us does, what you described here. To me, it‘s pretty upsetting to read these accusations. Because from my point of view, these are only very few fans. Yes, it’s bad. But I actually don’t think, that the ones posting here are the ones, you actually want to reach.
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Post by skaschep on Nov 21, 2018 9:27:14 GMT -5
Thank you for your genuine concern. When discussing the motivation for one's choices about who they date, using terms like "tendencies" alongside terms like "barely legal" implies that they are lecherous and without moral compass. This is a stereotypical view of gay men: that they can't control themselves around "boys" (who are actually consenting adults framed as victims). This stereotype plays into the paranoia that gay men are dangerous around children. It is not the individual terms that are necessarily homophobic, but the combining of these terms to paint a picture. It doesn't matter if you mask it as maternal concern; the connections are still cognitively damaging. Then touch it up with references to Bryan Singer or Kevin Spacey as "proof" of the danger factor, and you have important ingredients for the kind of homophobia that can influence an unstable armed person to shoot up a gay club "for the sake of the children." To understand how you unconsciously support the stereotype, check your privilege. Are there places that are less safe for you to go because you are straight? Have you ever had to come out as straight so that others feel they can trust your honesty? Is it assumed that your life choices are because of your sexual orientation? Do people think you are the way you are because you are straight? When you are seen with a member of the same sex, is it assumed you are dating them, or want to date them? Should you be judged by what Harvey Weinstein and Donald HeWhoCannot amed do because all of you are straight and therefore must all have the same "tendencies"? Every day I find a new irrational bias I didn't know I had. I look at it and decide if I want to keep it or not. But even when I decide not to keep it, it can find its way back in through my blind spots. The vigil never ends. I agree with that fact everyone has the right to voice their opinions and thoughts as long as it’s done politely. The one thing I do take exception to is your saying ? Should you be judged by what Harvey Weinstein and Donald HeWhoCannot amed do because all of you are straight and therefore must all have the same "tendencies"? Because ALL of us are straight? You don’t know a thing about all of us. You don’t know who I am what my orientation is or how many gay family members I have. So please do not do to us what you are complaining about by assuming we all fit into a perception. You also don’t know what kind of hate or prejudice any of us has experienced. State your option but be mindful of others before you lump us all into your “perceptions” of who we are. It seems that @madmax is falling in the same sort of bias trap that she is accusing us of. That all others are straight and don't understand what gay people experience or go through. Whatever you went through madmax I'm sorry, but as someone already said most of us are pretty open to other opinions. And yes not all of us are straight either. Do we need some education some times? Probably, but try to give it a bit more kind next time.
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Post by cassie on Nov 21, 2018 9:28:33 GMT -5
Whoa. It appears I have woken up to a dust up here on the forum. With one exception who has resigned from this forum in protest of another's post, I think the posts have been civil, polite, and thought-provoking. Thank you for agreeing to disagree without attacking or belittling.
Maybe now is a good time to remind everyone of a couple of forum principles.
Differing opinions and even controversial thoughts are welcome and encouraged. Keep in mind that there will almost certainly be someone here who will disagree with you, and they are equally welcome to post. If that upsets you perhaps not posting in the first place would be a better option.
Once you have stated your case/opinion/idea, there is no need to restate it. This forum is not the place for extended arguments or debates.
It is less confrontational, and often better received, if you disagree with an idea from the person's post, not the person herself. When you start writing "YOU did this..." "YOU said that..." it becomes a personal attack rather than an alternate point of view. Try to write your reply without addressing the original poster.
When in doubt, take a deep breath and step away from the keyboard for a half hour. Your idea/opinion may have more positive impact once the emotions have calmed down. It can wait.
Thank you for contributing and for supporting one another. Happy Thanksgiving.
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Post by skaschep on Nov 21, 2018 9:34:27 GMT -5
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Post by skaschep on Nov 21, 2018 9:35:31 GMT -5
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Post by skaschep on Nov 21, 2018 9:35:56 GMT -5
For those wondering: twitter.com/mmadamimadamm/status/1065056854705868800mmadamimadamm @mmadamimadamm Hi, guys. I hear some of you are worried about me. Hannukah is coming December 2nd and I started making blankets for everyone. I have 2 more to go. I'll be back once I'm done.
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Post by skaschep on Nov 21, 2018 9:47:54 GMT -5
Seeing this picture it makes me a bit sad that people are still giving off on Brian and Roger about their choices for the movie and/or touring with Adam (even though they are not many they are sadly still there). They lost a family member all those years ago. The movie made me understand that better even though it was pretty clear to me before already. Roger Taylor @officialrmt A walk in the garden... saying hello to an old friend 📷 Sarina Taylor http://instagr.am/p/BqciHVXlow2
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Post by bamafan on Nov 21, 2018 9:55:26 GMT -5
Woah.....nelly! What all did I miss?
I see Graciejane is gone....... I hate that...I liked her.
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